Blogger Has Near-Death Experience!

It’s been days with nary a peep from me.  That’s because yours truly has just had a showdown with the Grim Reaper and has lived to tell the tale.

Earlier this week, on Monday, I was feeling sickly as hell.  I was sniffling and snorting and coughing and sneezing and wheezing and generally feeling run-down (and maybe even run over).  I was at work and decided, about threeish in the afternoon, to walk over the campus clinic and let one of the docs look me over.

A white-clad nurse ushered me into the examination room where an Egyptian physician, a forty-something female with a raspy voice (smoker?), greeted me and then asked what was wrong.  I went through my whole list of symptoms, throwing in my history with allergies for good measure (see the neti pot post below).  She was obviously paying close attention because she commented on the red coloration of my nose even though I hadn’t specifically talked about the outward appearance of any part of my face.  She made her diagnosis after I stopped talking.  I had an upper respiratory “situation.”  Quite probably there was an infection involved.  It was this latter fact which required that she take decisive action.  She wrote out a long list of things I needed to pick up at the pharmacy, and I left.

I went home, stuck a thermometer into my mouth, and discovered that my body was churning out heat.  I had fever—102 degrees (Fahrenheit) worth. The redness of my nose suddenly made a lot more sense. 

That night I was feverish and delirious.  I tossed and turned and spoke in tongues and saw visions.  On at least one occasion, I am certain that the devil himself spoke to me, asking me whether or not I found hell a place to my liking.  From time to time, I would regain consciousness and find my wife’s worried face looking down on me from what seemed to be a great height.  The next day was more of the same.  I ended up having to miss a couple of days of work at the university. 

Over the years, I’ve had a number of similar experiences that have taught me at least one very important lesson:  My American-made body is no match for some of these Middle Eastern germs.

Today, five days later, I’m finally feeling like I might survive.  This morning, while walking through my house, I caught a glimpse of myself in the full-length mirror.  My first impression was that I looked oddly translucent and vulnerable—almost like the larva of some strange insect.  Upon further reflection, I could see that it was the same old Troy looking back at me, only this version was a mite more bedraggled than usual.